Home

Are farmers ever happy?

Wouldn't like to be a farmer during the winter months, I'd imagine it's hard going.
My cousin is a farmer, once the ends are meeting financially, it can be OK in winter too. The problem is calving but he is getting cameras in so he can see the cattle and sheep from a monitor in the house.
 
In my area of South Tipperary, the biggest problem is that every woman who comes n ear the place ends up pregnant.

Baby sitters don't stand a chance, in one case a female Vet got it. One farmer is 55 and he did it and had to buy the wife a new BMW to pacify her. I blame the lockdown for masses and too good of feeding and cash. More training is needed
because babies can split the farm.
 
V

Verooka

Guest
Certain farmers are happy when wearing their favourite maggoty jumper and up to the balls in ther favourite pachyderm! 😃
 

Mowl

Member
I bet Val's celebrating the good news with a drink: one shot of cheap whiskey, one shot of lemonade, and three shots of slurry: shaken, not stirred.
 
OP
DS86DS

DS86DS

Staff member
Administrator
Member
And yet it's likely farmers will be whinging that they didn't get enough. 🙄
 

Thus

Staff member
Moderator
Member
Why they are getting anything at all is beyond me. They have assets which can be sold if they’ve made a shit of their business.
 
OP
DS86DS

DS86DS

Staff member
Administrator
Member
Why they are getting anything at all is beyond me. They have assets which can be sold if they’ve made a shit of their business.

No doubt they threatened someone high up to bring Dublin City Centre to a standstill with their mucky tractors if they didn't get their way.
 

Colm

Member
I have no issues with Farmers ,My Best Mate is a Farmer's son and I do be there regularly (small farmer and not doing anything dodgy)

It seems to be an extremely tough job with very little reward and a lot of red tape

Small Farmers just don't see the margin unless they are extremely niche market
 

Mowl

Member
No doubt they threatened someone high up to bring Dublin City Centre to a standstill with their mucky tractors if they didn't get their way.

Mucky bastards.

I have no issues with Farmers ,My Best Mate is a Farmer's son and I do be there regularly (small farmer and not doing anything dodgy)

It seems to be an extremely tough job with very little reward and a lot of red tape

Small Farmers just don't see the margin unless they are extremely niche market

Val's hardly a small farmer - he's a fat fucker with teeth missing.

The average income for small farmers is under 20k

And 99% of that is from the state coffers.
 

Mowl

Member
I've worked for a few clients out near Cavan over the years. One thing that always disgusted me about Val's kind of people is their eating habits and methods. As you say, horsing food down. They lean over the plate and keep shoveling more and more food in as though someone's about to take the plate away from them. The fucking noise they make? Jayzus, it had me retching and heaving - filthy fuckers, the lot of them - even the wives do it.

Harrrump-haarum-harrum-hop-chop when the spuds are too hot to chew properly, so they make this noise as they sit there with their mouths wide open sucking in air to cool the spuds. Rotten bastards. And then the cups of tea? They blow at the top of the cup and then slurp up the tea and you can hear their throats gagging and swallowing. It's enough to put a delicate eater like myself off my food for days on end.

And by the time they pay the bill and are walking out the door, you have to look away from them what with the bits of meat and gravy stuck to their stubbly chins and down onto their jumpers. Disgusting fuckers: if the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay don't cough up the information, then they could stick a set of headphones on them and tune it in to some pub-grub joint in Cavan town for them to endure an entire lunchtime period of any farmer and his missus.

They wouldn't so much as offer up the information, they likely puke it up.
 

Thus

Staff member
Moderator
Member
I've worked for a few clients out near Cavan over the years. One thing that always disgusted me about Val's kind of people is their eating habits and methods. As you say, horsing food down. They lean over the plate and keep shoveling more and more food in as though someone's about to take the plate away from them. The fucking noise they make? Jayzus, it had me retching and heaving - filthy fuckers, the lot of them - even the wives do it.

Harrrump-haarum-harrum-hop-chop when the spuds are too hot to chew properly, so they make this noise as they sit there with their mouths wide open sucking in air to cool the spuds. Rotten bastards. And then the cups of tea? They blow at the top of the cup and then slurp up the tea and you can hear their throats gagging and swallowing. It's enough to put a delicate eater like myself off my food for days on end.

And by the time they pay the bill and are walking out the door, you have to look away from them what with the bits of meat and gravy stuck to their stubbly chins and down onto their jumpers. Disgusting fuckers: if the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay don't cough up the information, then they could stick a set of headphones on them and tune it in to some pub-grub joint in Cavan town for them to endure an entire lunchtime period of any farmer and his missus.

They wouldn't so much as offer up the information, they likely puke it up.
Tell me about it, they may as well just do away with knives and forks and use spades.

Their tea is always milky white as well, horrible, I take literally a drop of milk in tea. And what's with drinking it straight away, it's a cup of boiling water...let the fucking thing cool down.
 

Mowl

Member
Imagine Val handling half a chicken?

Forget the cutlery - grab that bastard and suck the bones dry.

Then using the wishbone to pick his teeth, belching like a mule and farting like a cow.
 
How does anybody work up the courage to be around bulls, those things can kill a man with one charge and there is absolutely zero one can do in terms of self defense...if that thing decides to turn on you, you're basically fucked.
You have to do it and recently calved cows are very dangerous. I carry a 1 and a half inch tubular steel bar with a wrist strap at one end. If attacked, you have to come down on their head really hard,
 
How does anybody work up the courage to be around bulls, those things can kill a man with one charge and there is absolutely zero one can do in terms of self defense...if that thing decides to turn on you, you're basically fucked.
You have to do it and recently calved cows are very dangerous. I carry a 1 and a half inch tubular steel bar with a wrist strap at one end. If attacked, you have to come down on their head really hard,
Tell me about it, they may as well just do away with knives and forks and use spades.

Their tea is always milky white as well, horrible, I take literally a drop of milk in tea. And what's with drinking it straight away, it's a cup of boiling water...let the fucking thing cool down.
What do you think is in your Chinese take away, prime Irish Beef? Do you think the, I would feel lucky is I got seafulls
 
I've worked for a few clients out near Cavan over the years. One thing that always disgusted me about Val's kind of people is their eating habits and methods. As you say, horsing food down. They lean over the plate and keep shoveling more and more food in as though someone's about to take the plate away from them. The fucking noise they make? Jayzus, it had me retching and heaving - filthy fuckers, the lot of them - even the wives do it.

Harrrump-haarum-harrum-hop-chop when the spuds are too hot to chew properly, so they make this noise as they sit there with their mouths wide open sucking in air to cool the spuds. Rotten bastards. And then the cups of tea? They blow at the top of the cup and then slurp up the tea and you can hear their throats gagging and swallowing. It's enough to put a delicate eater like myself off my food for days on end.

And by the time they pay the bill and are walking out the door, you have to look away from them what with the bits of meat and gravy stuck to their stubbly chins and down onto their jumpers. Disgusting fuckers: if the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay don't cough up the information, then they could stick a set of headphones on them and tune it in to some pub-grub joint in Cavan town for them to endure an entire lunchtime period of any farmer and his missus.

They wouldn't so much as offer up the information, they likely puke it up.
The clients went from strength, were did you go?
 
Top Bottom