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Desperate Dan's Bar & Grill

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Mowl

Mowl

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Not much going on over at desperate Dan's .......I wonder should I pop over to reminisce :unsure:. I see Valamhic is over there

'Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us....'

Grover Washington junior just turned over in his grave.

Loads went to America from my home area and all appear to have done well.

You mean they survived the coffin ships?

My cousin Mark is one and he is back running a business in London and one in America (New York)

Mark Martin? The guy selling ten-spots of hash internationally?

Well I never.

. It is common for professionals to quit and follow another line.

Even fat coppers can transition into fat little women called Molly McCracken, Val.


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I wish I could get into this wildlife spotting lark. But spying on Ant and Deco over there is a bit like watching two old fellas fiddling with themselves in the park.

Kind of revolting but better to just quietly move away because they've not much else to make them happy.

Well, our Val has an expansive slurry pool in which he does laps morning and night.

That's how he manages to keep his waistline so enormous.

Deco likes to think he has us all fooled about his daily walks to keep his heart ticking and the fat off his arse. But we all know that as soon as he turns the corner he hops the bus and goes for a few pints instead.

I quit my business every December and work for another business so I'm guessing that makes me a professional

Awesome, I know a man just like you: he deals in menswear and every year he changes the name of his outlet, just before the tax year ends. Then closes down, reopens under a new unregistered name (usually nicked off whatever brand of jeans is selling best) and does the same thing again, year after year. Apparently the taxman is flummoxed by it and he never seems to pay over a dime.

Now THAT'S a proper Irish business man.
 

DS86DS

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Will Hans be giving Mr. Data a call over the doxxing going on over at Dan's I wonder?
 
'Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us....'

Grover Washington junior just turned over in his grave.



You mean they survived the coffin ships?



Mark Martin? The guy selling ten-spots of hash internationally?

Well I never.



Even fat coppers can transition into fat little women called Molly McCracken, Val.


valdrag.md.jpg



Well, our Val has an expansive slurry pool in which he does laps morning and night.

That's how he manages to keep his waistline so enormous.

Deco likes to think he has us all fooled about his daily walks to keep his heart ticking and the fat off his arse. But we all know that as soon as he turns the corner he hops the bus and goes for a few pints instead.



Awesome, I know a man just like you: he deals in menswear and every year he changes the name of his outlet, just before the tax year ends. Then closes down, reopens under a new unregistered name (usually nicked off whatever brand of jeans is selling best) and does the same thing again, year after year. Apparently the taxman is flummoxed by it and he never seems to pay over a dime.

Now THAT'S a proper Irish business man.

Sounds like the ideal Fianna Fail candidate.
 
OP
Mowl

Mowl

Member
Will Hans be giving Mr. Data a call over the doxxing going on over at Dan's I wonder?

Let him have his fun. I really don't mind: sure why would I? Between the pair of them and their spoofs about being adept at the auld Gaelic is a fucking joke. Neither of those two mongs can count to ten in Irish. They think it's a list of names:

A Haneadoh.

Atree O'Cathair.

Shay Shocked.

A Hookt.

Knee deh.

Gobshites.

Sounds like the ideal Fianna Fail candidate.

The Minister for Faeces, Rubber Gloves, and Animal Welfare.
 

DS86DS

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Can anyone else see Dan charging the Boston locals through the nose for Batchelors Beans on Brennans Bread toast...advertising it as Gourmet Irish fare? The Americans being only too happy to throw their dollars in his direction given their naivety and gullibility.

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Does look quite good mind. I'd just Gaelic it up a bit like the French do with their Haricot au Pain avec Jus d'Tomat. '30 euros chief, yeh, original ancient recipe as eaten by Na Fianna. Thas right, yeh.'
 
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Mowl

Mowl

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Now you know why there aren't any doors in the bar Deco was scrubbing and serving.

The gas from the beans would have blown them clean off the hinges.
 
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Mowl

Mowl

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I think it's now safe to dismiss Dan's forum as an American Neocon site which has nothing to do with Irish society.

Damned straight - it seems as though the bar he served in was a flop-house for fat Irish ex-pats looking to add a few inches to their waistlines. Rather odd, it must be said - but Deco Kelly thinks the likes of this beast are sexy and desirable people to have around.


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Watching him try to sell us this as an excellent idea and a great way of life really does make me very sad for the man. It's clear that he knows exactly how big a failure he is, and to think he's been holding back on his time scrubbing out in 'Sarsfield's Malt Vinegar Pub' until now to stun us all with his brilliance is a bit like a damp squib going off in Val's underpants.

It looks to me like the saddest possible existence as an ex-pat trying to make his way in the world.

Even sadder again is his minting press: what it actually is is a bowl full of coca cola into which he puts old florins and shillings to clean them up and pawn them off as high-end investments. That just makes me want to cry for him: what a complete and utter twat? Who the fuck does shit like this, and why? He's a complete failure to Ireland, a 100% plastic doing the happy paddy routine in public, but when he gets home and has to face the wife? Jeeeez, what a jip.

What a sad fucking mutant he's made of himself?

It's one thing to be a laughing stock online, but it's a completely other thing to try to brave it out after being exposed as a bum with fuck all credentials or personality. The millionaire's house, the fast cars, the high-end investments, the busking on the streets, the beautiful wife, the amazing children, the high life of the very wealthy - all spoiled and ratted out by this here video he made for Dierdre, his first true love:


If the fat fool had any self respect, he'd have deleted this shit yonks ago. But no, any attention is good attention for our lard lad. His age, his fatness, the big dumb head on him, the need to be liked, the horror of being exposed, the lies all turned around on him, and still he's trying to brave it out? Tell you what, Deco: you give up the lying and the Mowl will give up destroying you. Open the books, tell the truth for once in your sad and worthless existence, and come clean: we'll go easy on you, we all know you're hurting inside and that you haven't had a hard-on for months by now. Clear out the shit and tell the truth, then I'll back off and leave you to your fabled existence.

Stop trying to be a hard-chaw, a man of substance, a popular paddy: accept that you were hung out to dry and that you're now a facile and embarrassing little stain on the y-fronts of Irish emigration. Maybe even read up a bit and bring your 'skills' as a 'civic engineer' up to date and get a proper job, stop all this Guinness and Bulmer's fakery and cop on to yourself. You've lost all credibility, and rather than quit while you're somewhat ahead, you seem to think you're infallible.

Well, guess what?

You ain't, and we all know it - so come join us here in reality and stop your daydreaming.


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DS86DS

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A lot of those people in his photos don't even look Irish, but rather Americans of German, Italian descent etc.
 

DS86DS

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The thing about Americans is that they are a mish mash between Irish, Scottish, English, German, French, Italian, Scandinavian, Polish etc. They are a mongrel nation effectively.
 
OP
Mowl

Mowl

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A lot of those people in his photos don't even look Irish, but rather Americans of German, Italian descent etc.

It's hard to assign any nationality or even identifying features to obese Americans. They all look like something out of a kid's nightmare which causes them to wet the bed and shit their pants. Like Val does.

Little known fact: Nick Seymour, bassist with Crowded House, was an errant Pussy-Assed Mother-Fucker after Crowded House disbanded following the suicide of their drummer, Paul Hester. He helped rework several of Pete's tunes and add in some very sweet and surprising arrangements. Nick moved to Dublin and bought a place just off Wicklow Street, he loves Ireland, always did. Lovely guy to deal with, work with, play with, and hang out with.


Fat Deco's idea of a house band is some fat number like this with a banjo and an accordion.


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Some people have fuck all shame.

The thing about Americans is that they are a mish mash between Irish, Scottish, English, German, French, Italian, Scandinavian, Polish etc. They are a mongrel nation effectively.

Exactly, mongrels with fleas mind you.

But that said, I would never treat a dog in the ways that I treat Deco. He's one stubborn little runt: won't take advice, keeps on biting at your ankles, shits everywhere, pisses up on the furniture and refuses to roll over and play dead.

 

DS86DS

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Maybe Dan is doing the Lucky Leprechaun act with a pot of silver at the end of the rainbow. Gullible Yanks will fall for anything.
 

DS86DS

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One of America's most popular breakfast cereals is one with a Leprechaun counting his lucky charms on the front of the box


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